Dear reader! Whether you are new here, archive-reading and whatnot, or you are already someone who has been with us for quite a while, I would like to say a few words that I believe are best kept close to mind.
-This is an MLP quest. And more importantly, none of us are gratuitously cruel. So good things will happen on this quest, and I hope that enough good things have already happened to prove that.
-This is also a horror quest, so bad things will happen. Bad things might happen to good characters if you are not able to protect them, and you most certainly will not be able to intervene if you lack the tools to do so.
-And finally, this is a quest in which you jostle with powers greater than yourself, with all that it entails.
Please, do keep those things in mind as you go forward. But ultimately, this is also a quest in which it is hoped we all have fun! So if any of the above points is not exactly your cup of tea, or somehow make the experience as a whole "not worth it", then this quest might not be for you. Which is fine! Individual tastes are a thing, so don't think any more about it if you don't want to read anymore. And regardless, I hope you have a lovely day!
Readers should take their own mental health into consideration when voting and not subject themselves to triggering narrative elements like rape or constant mental torture of a friend just for the Greatest Good of a world that doesn't exist.
If those are fine for you or Regrettable is even more triggering, then GREAT! More power to you. But you aren't a bad or selfish person for picking the option that keeps the characters you've emotionally connected with safe. [REDACTED for spoiler warning]
This is a high intensity quest that doesn't hold back when it comes to horror and negative consequences. Take care of yourself.
We should probably make time. Just having a Knock 6 artifact on its own would be incredibly valuable for summonings, plus acquiring the DoA's loyalty. I fully plan on advocating for having Baldomare scry it once we resummon her on T18, and the best time to actually do the expedition would probably be somewhere on T19 - T21, since we'll have three Names to throw at it.
Fair. I'm more concerned about the money, really. It can probably happen, but it'll take some sacrifices and we're really booked. Would definitely be nice though.
The Tricuspid gate may not exist at all, it is both the final Door and the Hour and if SiS came back then the Watchman led the procession to the Glory. We have no clue if he came back, survived that and if he did then if he took up his old post. For all we know past the Peacock Door it's a straight shot to the Glory.
An interesting thing about this I realized is that one, meteoric bullets in canon CS aren't actually Level Three, or even the equivalent of intensity six. They're intensity four, or level two here. Which is admittedly close, but it does make me think that this won't be quite the same. It's also worth noting that while, as ammunition in Exile, they are known to be monster killers and are one use, the base game allows you to keep a more permanent one, with the flavor text of being kept around the neck. What I mean to say is that I doubt this will be a one use item, especially since Ponies… don't really have guns. Not much at least. Not sure what sort of buff it might give though, except maybe just a general combat skill booster, like a min Influence or something.
The Tricuspid gate may not exist at all, it is both the final Door and the Hour and if SiS came back then the Watchman led the procession to the Glory. We have no clue if he came back, survived that and if he did then if he took up his old post. For all we know past the Peacock Door it's a straight shot to the Glory.
The Tricuspid Gate isn't an Hour. It's a Door of the Mansus. Whether the Watchman is still around has nothing to do with if the Gate is still around. Which, since the other Doors also are still around (or were until we broke the Tribal Door) I don't see why it wouldn't still be there.
Edit: If anything, if a Door was missing, I'd expect it to be the Peacock Door, since it's the only one that's actually embodied in a Mansus-spirit (Vak).
The Watchman is the Door in the Eye. He opens the way for the willing and for the unwilling. He is often the first Hour that we supplicate. He is always in white.
From the wiki on his pilgrimage:
The Watchman's Pilgrimage is an ongoing event, in which The Door in The Eye prepares to allow seven Pilgrims to ascend to the Glory. The Vagabond will be the first of these pilgrims, but the remaining six slots are contested by numerous other hopefuls, including Teresa. The conclusion of the Pilgrimage is probably foretold in The Time of Division by Amira Zahra, which speaks of seven individuals whose way will be opened to bring about the Second Dawn, the rebirth of The Sun-In-Splendour.
An image from a victory:
In which you literally peel back the Watchman's Eye to pass higher.
Now one can make the argument that the Door is separate and the Watchman just has his eye pressed up against it for some damn reason but seems unlikely to me.
And after checking the wiki unless Birb changed things a lot then the Watchman, Madrugad, Sun-in-Rags, and Meniscate are gone. Teresa would probably be gone too if she had been part of the Pilgrimage.
Also on the matter of dealing with Marinette if she goes rogue. We can't kill her so that way of banishing her to the Mansus is lost to us. It might be possible to create a ritual that does it but I have no clue if any Lores apply to such an action. I do know that with the right set up you can even contain highly destructive Longs and Names. It might be possible to contain an Alukite too but well...it's an Alukite. The damn things are inherently stronger than their tier.
The author does not intend to (and should not be interpreted as intending to) break the site's Terms of Service or site rules at any point.
None of the above subjects are condoned, glorified or encouraged by the author, and their presence in this story is purely for narrative purposes.
If you do not wish to be exposed to any of the subjects cited above, you should STOP READING IMMEDIATELY.
- - -
- - -
- - -
You are Selene.
And right now, just like everypony else, you are about to call it a day and go to bed.
You feel particularly tired, in all honesty. After all, once tomorrow arrives, everything will start all over again. Once you wake up tomorrow morning, you will have to go to school once more. And even though school isn't particularly hard, that doesn't mean time passes any faster when you are in class.
Still, you know things aren't exactly easier for anypony either. Or rather, you realize that everypony else also has it tough, in their own specific ways. After all, everypony has a job to do. And you know that everyday, whenever you walk to school, there is a whole crowd of workers going in the opposite way to work at the farms. And it's not just them, of course. The farmworkers have to come to the estate, the shop-owners have to open their places, and everypony else in Ponyville has to go do something, one way or the other.
Hay, even Miss Cheerilee has to get busy. After all, she needs to arrive at the classroom before anypony else. And you don't figure nobles are safe either, given how Mrs. Velvet will probably be leaving in a few hours to catch the midnight train, and her brother also moved in to Ponyville just to work.
So, tired or not, you know this is just how things are. You have to go to bed, you have to get up tomorrow, and you have to go to school yet again. And even when the day comes that you don't have to go to school anymore, you know there will be something else waiting for you.
In the end, you can only hope that whatever you have to do in the future is more exciting than learning fractions.
Knock, knock, knock.
Your sleepy thoughts are interrupted just as you are about to climb up to your bed. And you turn around just in time to see Soft Sweeps opening the door a bit, glancing in to look at you.
"You need anything else, Selene?" she asks, looking around your room to check if you need any help with something.
"No, no, I'm fine. Thank you very much," you reply. To which the mare nods before making her leave once again.
"Alrighty then. Good night."
She closes the door right after saying that, the movement so silent you can barely hear the doorknob being twisted shut.
And so, without any further ado, you jump onto your bed and begin covering yourself with your blankets.
You idly wonder why Soft Sweeps came to check in on you. Not because there is anything wrong or strange with her doing that, but because… well, she doesn't really have to do it? You appreciate her doing it, of course. The same way you appreciate how she still walks you all to and from school, and how she takes care of you and everything else.
However, you also asked Mr. Stormchaser a while ago about Soft Sweeps, and the only solid answer he gave you was that she isn't really your nanny anymore. Not officially, at least. And when you asked him what that meant, he just told you not to worry about it.
Part of you wants to believe Mr. Stormchaser, that whatever happened was settled between the grownups and you don't have to worry about it. But in all honesty, another part of you thinks that he doesn't really know the answer to your question either.
But deep down, you know that none of that really matters. Whether she is still a maid or not, whether she is still doing this out of habit or not, she still cares for you all regardless.
Besides, you can also tell that you are thinking all of this because… well, because you are just that tired. And that you are think-rambling the same way Silky mumbles to herself whenever she is so sleepy that she can't keep her eyes open anymore.
Thankfully, you can already feel those thoughts slowly drifting away as you close your eyes. Your hoofs going over your nightly ritual almost automatically, pulling up your crocheted blankets towards you first, and then dragging the heavier covers towards you before-
-KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK-
-before you nearly jump out of your skin as somepony knocks at your door once again.
No, not knocks. As somepony punches your door or something. Because that noise was so loud and sudden, you swear the door even shook a little bit. In fact, if it hadn't been three knocks, you would have sworn that Sweeps had just tripped over something and hit your door with her head.
And of course, now you are wide-eyed and awake. Because how in Equestria would you not be? The thumping was so loud, so… almost threatening, even, that it actually scared you for a bit! You even shake your head for a few moments, as you sit upright on your bed, before looking back towards the door.
Still, as the seconds go by, you keep looking at the door only to realize that… nothing is happening?
You can still feel your heartbeat, from the fright you had just now. But even that begins to slowly calm down as you keep waiting for… nothing, apparently.
"Y-you… you can come in," you say out loud, even if your voice is only half-confident.
Because Soft Sweeps would have just come in after knocking. And the other girls wouldn't have knocked at all, so… maybe this is Mr. Stormchaser? He always knocks before coming into your room. But if that's him, why would he want to talk to you this late at night?
Maybe something happened? You think he walks Mrs. Velvet to the train station, so maybe it's something related to that?
Although, as the seconds turn into a full minute, you can't help but wonder if…
"Is anypony there?" you ask the question out loud, the sinking impression that there is nopony behind the door growing stronger and stronger.
But just as you are about to get out of bed, just as you are about to push your covers away and go check who is behind the door-
-KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK-
-that noise comes from the door once more. Only this time it scares you. And instead of getting up, you find yourself pulling your blanket even tighter around you.
This time, for sure, you can tell that somepony is doing that on purpose. This time you could see the door shuddering, even bending slightly, as somepony hit it at its dead center.
And for some reason, that scares the life out of you.
"T-that's not funny!" you yell towards the door, feeling your heart hammering inside your chest as you do. You don't have the mind right now to wonder why you are scared to begin with, you can't even think about why this is scary at all. The only thing you know is that you are frightened and that you don't like this.
"Scoots, I-I know it's you!" you say, as your thoughts home in on the one pony who could possibly be doing this. "I know it's you and this is not funny!"
Because the only pony you know who could possibly think of this kind of prank is her. In fact, the one pony who could possibly think this is even funny at all is her. You know that. It has to be her. Because every now and then she comes up with a plan that inevitably gets the three of you in trouble, so this has to be her idea of a prank.
But you don't like this. You don't like this and you are scared and there is something about the noise that… a-about the sheer violence of it tha-
-KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK-
"Itoldyoutostopit!" you shout, feeling yourself begin to shudder even as you completely pull your blankets over you. Your eyes growing hotter even though you are keeping them tightly shut now.
And you just stay there. You stay under your blanket, where it's warm and safe and quiet. You press your shaking hoofs tightly against your ears, until you can't even hear yourself breathing.
You just stay there, curled up into a ball, until the knocking goes away. You hold on tightly to yourself, determined not to move until the sun comes up tomorrow morning.
And as the minutes stretch by, you finally realize that…
…
… that maybe it's finally over?
You open your eyes, even though there is nothing to see under the darkness of your blankets. Feeling a few more tears run down your cheeks as you try to calm down. Your breathing is still fast, just like the thumping inside your chest. However, as you slowly take your hoofs off your ears, you realize that… these are the only noises you can hear.
You stifle a sniff, telling yourself that it's finally over and that maybe you can go to sleep now. You think Scootaloo finally got her laugh and left, after she heard you yelling. And you hope she won't come back anymore.
But still, you are just thankful tha-
-KNOCK-
You freeze.
Your thoughts freeze. Your whole body freeze.
"N-no… please d-" you try to say-
-KNOCK KNOCK-
-but the knocking interrupts you.
And that is when you realize that… that is intentional.
Because it can hear you.
And not only does it not care that you are afraid, you think it might actually be relishing it.
"-please d-don't… I-I'm scared o-of it, a-and…" you say in a low, shivering whimper.
Still, for a moment, it is quiet again. For a moment, it is just you. For a brief moment you are just a filly, crying under her blankets, inside her room. The low sound of your ragged breathing almost drowned out by the hammering of your heart.
The sound of a hoof banging against your door becomes louder, and faster, and stronger, until you swear that it is also coming from the ceiling and the walls and from right underneath the mattress of your bed.
You feel like the wall is shaking. You feel as if the air itself is shaking. You feel like the banging is coming from inside your head, and like they are scraping against your bones and they willcrawl into your ears the moment you stop covering them with your hoofs.
You hear screaming. You want to run away. You can't take this anymore, and you think about jumping from your window or hitting your head against the wall until you pass out but you already know it won't work because theyarealreadywaitingforyououtsidethewindowandthiswontendevenifyousplityouheadopenandbleedeverydropofbloodinyourbodyan-
-and suddenly, the screaming stops.
You are shivering. Your whole body is shivering, even though you don't feel cold.
There are tears flowing down from your eyes, and you are only slightly aware of how the fur on your neck and chest are already damp from how much you are crying.
You also feel dizzy. Your breathing is short and fast, almost wheezing, and your throat hurts.
But the pain in your throat is what finally makes you realize that you were the one that was screaming. And also that you have finally stopped screaming yourself, at the same time the thundering knocks stopped.
And that is because… you are up on your hoofs.
You are on your hoofs, you are out of your bed, and you are quite literally on the other side of the room from where you were supposed to be.
Because you are right in front of the door. You are in front of the door, and it is wide open, with one of your hoofs still holding on to the doorknob.
The door is open because you opened it, which is why you are now staring down at the dark and empty corridor that is right outside your room.
It takes you several long seconds… maybe a full minute, even, to understand what just happened. It takes your mind a long time to first get out of its panicked state, so that you can finally think about it. Even if just a little bit.
But you think… you think you understand it now.
You think you get it. That all those things… all those horrifying images that you were seeing, in your head and behind your eyes and in your memory, finally ended… because you opened the door.
And you don't know why you are thinking this. You don't know why this makes sense. But for some reason, your numb, still-shuddering mind comes to a conclusion of sorts.
You conclude that… it will be worse, or it would have been worse, if you hadn't opened the door.
Because if you didn't do anything about it, if you let things go on the way they were going, then eventually the door would have been broken down.
And that would have been far, far worse.
Even if you don't know why.
You stare down the empty hallway, feeling your shaking limbs slowly calm down, and the warmth of your tears slowly become cold. And you think that… you finally get it.
You let go of the door, drying your eyes with a foreleg, and you can tell that your mind is slowly coming back to normal. You can feel that your thoughts are finally coming back to you in a way that makes sense.
After all, you are finally beginning to ask yourself a few questions.
Like… what the hay just happened? And are you going insane? And what… what were those things that you saw… no, that you remembered?
Because you could hear the knocking. Of that you are absolutely sure. You saw the door bending as if it was being punched from the outside, and you would swear to the Princesses themselves that your mattress was being kicked up while you were on your bed.
But… but the things you saw? The stuff that came to your mind almost like a wave of dirty ideas?
Those were something else… those did not come from you. Not exactly at least. Not in the sense that you chose to imagine them, at least. Instead, they came from you in the sense that they came from somewhere inside of you. A part of your mind you had never noticed before, and that you didn't even know was there. Like a hidden chest, buried under the ground, or maybe a secret door.
And… and you…
… and are you going insane?
Is this… you already read about this. Several months ago, you asked Miss Cheerilee about this. You asked Miss Cheerilee, and Mrs. Velvet, and you even asked for a few books about the subject. You asked them why you couldn't remember stuff, and they told you about amnesia. And after that, as you read more and more, you began to learn that some ponies simply don't have minds that work right. That some ponies, like yourself, were simply born a bit wrong in the head.
So it this what's happening to you? Are these things halo-… halluk-… are you seeing stuff that isn't there? Are you going crazy?
And… and are you a danger to anypony else? Are you a danger to your sister?!
Those thoughts race through your mind, your doubts and fears becoming more and more grounded in reality as the previous wave of dread leaves your body.
However, before you can decide what you are going to do next-
-knock knock knock-
-you hear it. You hear it and you freeze. You hear it, and every last rational worry you just had disappears from your mind almost immediately.
Because you can hear it. Coming from downstairs.
The sound of somepony… of something, knocking at the doors of the entrance hall. Almost as if there is a pony outside, asking to be let in.
You feel your breath getting stuck in your throat. You feel your eyes beginning to tingle once again. You feel the things inside your head wiggle and crawl as they try to wrangle themselves from behind that secret place you just realized you have inside your mind.
But most urgently, you feel your legs running. Galloping through the hallway, jumping down the stairs three steps at a time, and zipping through the large entrance hall.
Because above all else, you know it will be worse if you don't open the door.
You know what will happen, if you let the banging grow louder and fiercer and faster, until it is finally strong enough to break down the doors and drag you back into the dark.
- - -
You are exhausted.
You were already tired to begin with. You are still carrying an entire day on your back, and you would already have fallen asleep the moment you hit your bed if none of this had happened.
But despite all of that, you still had to run yourself ragged.
Because you ran down to the entrance hall and you opened the doors as fast as you could, yes. You even did it during the middle of yet another trio of knockings, even though you once again saw nopony behind the doors as soon as they were open.
However, you did not have even a full minute of relief before you heard it again.
Knock knock knock.
You couldn't even catch your breath before you heard that sound once more. Coming from somewhere in the distance, being carried by the night wind. So low that you had to strain your ears to even hear it.
But still, you heard it nonetheless. You heard it, and you immediately ran into the garden to look for it. Trying to find what door it was coming from. Desperate to find it, and open it, before the banging became even stronger.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.
And then, you had to do it all over again.
So, you are exhausted. Your lungs ache, your forelegs hurt, and you barely have enough strength to stand up as it is.
Because at first, finding the door was the hardest part. But after a while, it became easy. Almost trivial.
After a time, opening the door became much, much harder.
You desperately searched the garden for where the knocking was coming from. And the pounding was almost deafening when you finally located it, realizing that it was coming from the backdoor of one of the smaller annex buildings.
However, you actually had to force that door open. It was a bit stuck, you soon realized, with rusty hinges that resisted you as you tried to pull it open.
But still, you eventually managed it. Even as the door began to shake and bend as if a pony with a thousand hoofs was trying to kick it open.
You then heard the next set of knockings almost instantly, coming from a door that was just a bit deeper into the room you had just opened.
And if the previous door was a bit stuck, then that next one was positively jammed. And you were crying and yelling and begging the noises to stop when you finally managed to force it open.
And then… you had to do it again.
Again, and again, and again. Down through the strangely tight corridor, and within the cramped storage, and into the cellar and up to the attic and through twists and paths that you didn't even have time to think made no sense.
Until you finally arrived… here.
Your hindlegs give out, and you sit down on the floor with a thud. You think you have already opened every last door in this annex building, thanks to the several times you realized the knocking was coming from behind you and you were forced to double back. Your forelegs hurt, your hoofs are sore, and you can feel several splinters digging into your coat from the times you desperately tried to just run into one of the heavier doors.
But still, you can't hear any knocking anymore. You think this is finally… over.
Although, there is one last door in front of you.
You are inside a carpentry, you think. A workshop of sorts where things are made out of wood. Or at least that is the only description your exhausted mind can give, after seeing the saws and tools and half-worked planks that surround you in the dark.
However, most importantly, you also see a door.
It is not connected to the wall by any hinges. In fact, you can see that it is only leaning against the wall, close to a window.
The kind of wood that it is made of, also, is somewhat dark. Or at least darker than the floor and the ceiling, and certainly darker than any other door you have opened tonight. You also think there is some kind of symbol painted on it, but you are too tired to care for it, and it is too dark for you to see properly.
In fact, you don't even know why this is the last door. You don't even know why you thought of that, a few seconds ago. You just know it.
You only worry right now is to catch your breath, feeling all your tiredness crashing down on you to the point that you almost think you are going to fall unconscious. To be honest, you can already tell that your vision is getting darker, and you think that you might just fall asleep on the floor right here and now.
However, despite the fact that it somehow doesn't surprise you, you still hear that-
Knock.
Knock.
Knock
-that somepony is knocking from the other side of the door.
Not something. And definitely not something. Just… somepony. And somehow, you also know they will not knock at the door anymore, for the rest of the night.
You have no idea how or why, but you just know that… that if you decide to leave right now, that will be it. If you decide to ignore this last door, you can just drag yourself back to bed and go to sleep, without any of the loud banging hounding you. And that you will wake up tomorrow as if nothing happened, with only your tiredness and the stinging splinters to remind you that you ever left your room at all.
You know that. You know you have done your part, and that you can leave now… that you are entitled to leave, even. And that nopony can force you to do anything.
However…
You also know that…
… that things will be worse, if you don't open this door.
But not because the knocking will get louder, or because you will feel more and more scared, or because the images will start flashing in your mind again. No.
You know that it will be worse if you don't open this door because… well, if you don't open the door, then you will always stay here. You will always stay here, and you will never get there. And tomorrow will always be just another day where you wake up and go do… whatever it is other ponies think you should be doing. Be it going to school, or going to work, or doing whatever else ponies tell you to.
And for some reason, that thought is scarier than the idea of the banging growing so loud you can't even hear yourself screaming. For some reason, that future seems more constricted than even the tightest room. It tastes like a disappointment that hasn't happened yet, and it feels as sad as the news that a pony has died, even though you never met her.
So, in order to avoid that future, you get up on your hoofs, and you gingerly reach for the doorknob.
And then you openit.
And the moment you do that, your breath is completely taken away from you.
- - -
You know this place.
No, more than just that. You know this place. Even though you have never been here before, you absolutely know it.
You know it like you know the other side of a coin is also round. You recognize it the same way you recognize your face, whenever you look at the mirror.
The rich, carpeted bridges that seem to hang in the air.
The rows upon rows upon rows of doors, emblazoned with cutie marks. The names of their owners rolling off from your tongue even though you never met them.
The endless, pulsating light that seems to come from somewhere below, against the endless backdrop of nothingness above.
The Dreamlands, your home away from home. Your charge, territory and responsibility.
You are finally here.
And you are finally back.
However, a pony stands in front of you. Right outside your door.
You recognize her instantly, even though her name takes the longest time to come back to you.
But still, the warmth of her smile and the pride in her face makes you feel safe. As if she is an island of normalcy, when everything around you is a sea of confusion.
And before you realize it, you have already crossed the door. Stepping hoof onto the ethereal pathway, feeling the weight of your exhaustion drain from you as if it never happened.
Still, for all that you feel suddenly well and rested, your mind is still disoriented. Or rather, it almost feels like your exhaustion and turmoil didn't leave your body, but instead concentrated in your mind. You feel like there is a raging storm inside your head, that is about to make you lose your balance and fall even though you stopped walking. As if everything you breathe in, you also think about so much, or perhaps remember so much, that most of it simply overflows and falls out of your brain.
You are confused. You are beyond confused. So, you hold on to the one normal that you can see right now. You grab onto the one pony that you know, when everything else around her feels as confusing as it feels familiar.
You need help making sense of this. You need her help, to understand all of this. To understand any of this.
So, as your vision blurs and twists and curves like a river of too many memories, you realize you began speaking to her only after the words are already out of your mouth.
"This… this ish a dream, right? A nigchmare?" you say, your words so twisted that they come out slurred. "I-I… I just fell ashleep right after Soft left, a-and this is all in my head… r-right?" you ask the mare in front of you.
You ask Mrs. Velvet.
And to be honest, you are not at all surprised when she answers you by slowly shaking her head.
"No."
All she did was speak a single word. She barely said anything at all, and yet you feel like you were just slapped on the face.
Because…
Because…!
Because you remember!
You remember!
And you remember!
A-and… and you also remember!
And you know… you know where you are! And you know what symbols… what shapes, and doors, and cutie marks you will see, if you look around. And you know where to go, and what to do, and you remember what happened.
But much more than that, you also feel like you are pulling on a thread. You feel like your memories are a long string, and that as you pull more and more of it, you also remember more and more of the past… of your past.
Your… your duties, and your life, and your name.
And above all else, you also recognize where you are standing right now… You realize that the door behind you, it belongs to… it means that… that never before have you been this close to…!
And you realize that if you turn around right now, you will not see the annex building. You will not see the room you were in, just a few moments ago. Instead, you realize that if you turn around and look through that door, you will find a dark and empty place, with a pony sleeping against a balcony in peace. A pony that you were meant to find all along. A pony that you never really met, but whose side you never quite left.
So, you turn around to face the mare. You turn around to look at that last, most desperate retreat of the mind. You turn around, to look at the visage of a sleeping Princess.
You look around, so you can finally see yourse-
"That's enough, dear," but a voice stops you, together with a hoof that delicately holds your chin. You freeze, in surprise, and it takes you a few seconds before you think of looking down at the hoof. Still, you look down at the hoof, your eyes following her forelegs until you stare at your face. And you realize it is Mrs. Velvet who just stopped you.
You had almost forgotten that she was even here.
But now that you are looking into her eyes, you realize that you… that you don't really… remember, what you were about to do? In fact, you can't really remember anything at all. You just stare back at her.
You don't even think that this is… strange. In fact, it is not strange at all.
You just… look at her. You just wait.
"This is more than enough, Selene. You did great. And I am really proud of you."
She says that, even as she continues to hold your gaze. She says that and you believe her.
Although you do feel a bit of… frustration? It doesn't make any sense, but you feel as if a small part of your mind is trying to tell you something. Like a voice inside your head is trying to tell you to stop looking into her eyes, and turn around, and remember who you are supposed to be.
But that voice is so small that you can barely hear it. To be honest, you don't even know if you heard it at all, or if you just imagined it.
It was probably just your imagination.
"Now, there is one last thing we have to do tonight. I just need you to walk backwards. Keep looking at me, dear, but just… go back."
She says that, and you give her a nod. Or rather, you feel yourself giving her a nod. Your field of vision bobs up and down, but your mind is so empty that you barely understand what that means.
And when she lets go of your chin, you just… take a step back. And then another. And then another, and another. Until you once again pass through the door and find yourself back in the annex building. And despite the strange, fantastical, almost endless vista that you can still see through the open door, you are once again in a place that is... mundane. Utterly normal, even.
Even though you knew that the door you just crossed should have taken you somewhere else.
Because if you had looked behind you, if you saw the things you were supposed to see, then the door would have taken you to the correct place. If you had just looked around, and shattered the illusion, then your door would certainly have led you there. It would have taken you to a dark (but not scary) place, where a mare (but not a pony) was sleeping. If you had but turned around and walked straight through the door, it would have taken you where it was meant to take you.
However, since you just… walked backwards… since you did what Mrs. Velvet told you… since you kept the illusion, then you only went back to the place you came from.
And you remained the filly you were at the beginning of the night.
"Good night, Selene," she says, taking a few steps towards you, but only so she can grab the doorknob from the outside. "Good night, and I love you."
She says that, and then she closes the door.
And you wake up with a start.
- - -
You wake up inside your room, on your bed, with your blankets and covers thrown at the floor as if you had just tossed and turned too much in your sleep.
The air feels cold around you, and you body feels strangely light. Because the sensation of your tears against your fur and the exhaustion you were feeling… they were so real that their sudden absence is giving you vertigo.
But you don't care about any of that. You don't care about how your body is feeling, or that your favorite blanket is on the floor, or that for some reason the window next to your bed is open. No.
You only care about your thoughts. Or rather, you only care about your memories. You only care about the things you just saw, and you desperately repeat them inside your head again and again and again.
Because you… because you remember.
Everything you just saw. Everything you just felt, you remember it clearly.
But that's the thing. That is why you are so focused. That is why you are so… concentrated, in trying to picture everything in your mind.
Because just like a cruel joke, you only remember how you felt.
You remember the fact that you remembered. You remember that it all made sense. You remember the shock, and the relief, and even the understanding that you finally had all of the puzzle pieces on your hoofs.
However, you also remember how… with every step you took back, how it was also taken away from you.
As if you had been split in two, the moment you walked backwards into that door. As if Selene had somehow walked backwards into that annex building, while your memories made their way into the place that door is supposed to go.
And just like that, you lost it again. Not because you have amnesia, but because it was taken from you.
...
No...
Not because it was "taken" from you. But because she took it away from you.
You slowly realize it. As you recall everything that just happened, it all starts to make sense. You slowly begin to understand that everything finally made sense, but that she took it away from you before you could look at the entire picture. No, worse than that, she took your memories away from you after you looked at the entire picture.
And you… and that… and she…
And you feel so frustrated. So angry, and indignant, and resentful and… and irate.
To the point that, as you remember the last few things she said before closing that door, you can feel nothing but rage.
"Not yet, Selene. You are not ready yet. Good night."
How dare she? How dare she keep away from you what is rightfully yours? How can she say that she loves you, when she is keeping you away from… from whatever that was?! After all, even though you might not remember what it was, you haven't forgotten how you felt.
Because you felt like everything finally made sense! You felt like you finally got it. Because every single day of your life you feel as if there is something wrong with you, but for that singular momentyou could tell that it all made sense. And she took it from you!
And you hateMrs. Velvet for that! You hate her, and you don't know if you will ever stop hating her for this.
But you absolutely will not let her get away with it. Oh no. You are going to do something about it. In fact, maybe for the first time in your life you actually know what to do. After all, you already know exactly where your memories are. It is just a matter of reaching them again.
With that in mind, you go back to sleep. Angry and frustrated as you might be, you still try your best to sleep once again. Next to the open window, and under the light of the moon.
You will keep on trying. You will not go into anypony else's dreams but your own, until you find that last door once again. And you will find those memories once again.
Even if it takes every last night of the rest of your life.
For a precious moment, Selene has remembered all that she needed to remember. But those memories were not hers to keep, so they took the correct path back to their rightful owner.
However, it would have been impossible for Selene to have reached them in the first place, if she had not learned the skills to do so
For a precious moment, Selene has remembered all that she needed to remember. But those memories were not hers to keep, so they took the correct path back to their rightful owner.
However, it would have been impossible for Selene to have reached them in the first place, if she had not learned the skills to do so
Because you felt like everything finally made sense! You felt like you finally got it. Because every single day of your life you feel as if there is something wrong with you, but for that singular moment you could tell that it all made sense. And she took it from you!
And you hate Mrs. Velvet for that! You hate her, and you don't know if you will ever stop hating her for this.
But you absolutely will not let her get away with it. Oh no. You are going to do something about it. In fact, maybe for the first time in your life you actually know what to do. After all, you already know exactly where your memories are. It is just a matter of reaching them again.
Nah, Bird made a statement at one point that this really is the best order, if only so that Jade can examine her next turn before we do the ritual. It shouldn't make a fundamental difference.
And, after all, imagine if she was this pissed but had Level Three Edge to use with it. Because Velvet still would have stopped her, she needs the ritual to remember properly.
Also, Selene wants her memories back. I fucking called it. Now all we have to do is explain that we've always known how to give them to her…
This is either going to end super well or super terribly. On the one hand, she's already pissed, which isn't really conducive to rational conversations. On the other, we did have good reason for taking so long. We just have to get her to see that Velvet is the reason she even figured this out in the first place.
I mean it should be fairly simple: "I didn't make the process so Byzantine and Arcane, I just decoded it and helped guide you. I also uncovered a few ways to crash it early but most of them looked like they'd do permanent damage. Do you want to turn your soul inside out? No? I didn't think so."
I recall that we were told to get Winter 3 before this, but I'm not seeing what that did? Unless without it she would've lost her mind during that vision of the Worms.
I recall that we were told to get Winter 3 before this, but I'm not seeing what that did? Unless without it she would've lost her mind during that vision of the Worms.
I guess the next lesson is her telling us she hates us, and we reply No.
Then we casually bop away and summon a horror from beyond time and space, before turning around and telling said horror to give her the boop of rememberance. This quest can be weird sometimes.
Nah, Bird made a statement at one point that this really is the best order, if only so that Jade can examine her next turn before we do the ritual. It shouldn't make a fundamental difference.
And, after all, imagine if she was this pissed but had Level Three Edge to use with it. Because Velvet still would have stopped her, she needs the ritual to remember properly.
Also:
Fucking patterns. I can only fear what the Edge lesson will bring.
Moth: The realization that she is more than she seems.
Winter: The realization that she has to go (/do it) alone.
Knock: The realization of the way and the steps.
Also motivation in anger, rejecting Velvet Covers.
Only remaining:
Edge.
If I had to guess:
The chance to (figuratively) cut her umbilical cord.
Where Selene, loved daughter of Velvet Covers, becomes Selene, independent young mare.
Meaning she can walk the way on her own, until she reaches what she has forgotten and realizes who she really is, becoming Luna again.
I think we should take the Selene convo action Shaper proposed. If you guys are dead set on getting Luna next turn then that might just give us benefits in whatever reaction roll happens as I suspect it will what with this update.
I think we should take the Selene convo action Shaper proposed. If you guys are dead set on getting Luna next turn then that might just give us benefits in whatever reaction roll happens as I suspect it will what with this update.
