I just stumbled across your One-Shot MGE Quest, and all I have to say is bravo! I didn't believe my eyes when I first saw the title, almost mistaking it for some Metal Gear quest, but no! It was monster girls!
Well, I went over it. I gotta say, you were very thorough. The only thing you missed was a 'that' near the end of the Kiln Saint's write up, and that seems more like a stylistic choice anyway. Otherwise I don't think you've left anything out.